I never thought I would do this, but for the first time in my life, I purchased two Handjobs for five bucks. Was it really a good deal or just too good to be true? Well lets find out…

The parodic infomercial-style advertisement for the Handjob has to be one of the most ridiculous, tasteless, and above all, ingeniously pun-tastic infomercials I have ever seen. Somebody seriously needs to call the police on Uncle Greg. I stumbled upon it after browsing through one of my favorite gadget blogs, Gizmodo. I’ve seen plenty of parodies like these from time to time, but never one as shamefully clever as this one. Nearly every single line in this commercial is a pun of an actual handjob and they’re dished out as if the term never existed. The corny 80’s style music, exaggerated acting, smooth transitions, and genuine-sounding spokesperson all seal the deal for a perfect looking commercial. At the end, they insist that you visit ineedahandjob.com to order. Most parodies that include a website usually do it for added humor. They make it appear that you can order the product but you can’t because it’s not real. Whether the Handjob was real or not, I wanted to see how far this would go. And with five bucks to spare, what did I have to lose? I ordered my Handjobs and recieved this email a few days later:

Dearest Handjob Consumers,

Thank you so much for your orders! Due to many recent inquiries, we would like to take this opportunity to assure you that yes, this is a real product. And yes, you will be receiving your very own genuine Handjobs shortly.

We were taken by surprise at the overwhelming response and the number of orders we’ve received thus far, and we are working very hard to try to get all of your orders to you by Christmas time. Please note that we can make no guarantees, but we will be working around the clock between now and then in an effort to satisfy your wants and desires.

We take Handjobs very seriously, and we truly do appreciate each and every one of you for supporting us. And look forward to many new and exciting developments on the HJ front! Thank you again, and we look forward to hearing about all the pleasure your heartwarming Handjobs provide this season!

Cheers,
Lisa Q.
Handjob! Customer Service

Wow, they continue to dish out puns in their customer service emails too. After a long time of waiting, I finally receive my Handjobs. To my surprise, they actually look… good. I expected some small, cheap, foamy material but it’s actually top-grade rubber. To see if they really worked as advertised, I tested them out on a jar of pickles that haven’t been opened in a while. It… worked, better than a towel or the end of your shirt I might add. After keeping them laying around on my desk, I found that they make pretty sick coasters and reduce the chance of my drink spilling over. For five bucks, they’re not bad at all. In the end, no matter how genuine something like this, it’s all done just for laughs. I don’t need them at all. I could just give them away, but for the sake of avoiding reactions from dirty minds, I’m pretty sure I won’t be giving anyone a Handjob.

Pros:
- It actually works as advertised.
- Reasonably priced.

Cons:
- Requires an open sense of humor.
- Humiliation from dirty minds.
- Ironically won’t help when used for real handjobs.

So first off, what is Street Fighter IV? Here’s the factual lowdown. SFIV is a 2D fighting game produced by Capcom. It was released to Japanese arcades in July 2008 and to home consoles in February 2009. The basic point of the game is to have two characters beat each other into a blinding pulp until one emerges victorious. Whether you care much about fighting games or not, you should already know this. Fighting games have been around for decades and they’re really nothing new. So what makes SFIV so special if it’s just the same thing that’s been around for years? More importantly, why do I even play it? Well, I’ll tell you…

Hands down, SFIV has to be the most competitive and rewarding games I have ever played. When you win, you feel like you really deserve it. When you lose, you may become frustrated, but deep down you’re encouraged to try harder. Sure, I’ve played plenty of competitive games before: Starcraft, Halo, Gears of War, etc., but none of them really give you the same feeling of satisfaction that SFIV does. When you land that match-ending Ultra, you feel good about it. When you nail that finishing combo, you can’t help but smile a bit cause you deserved it. When someone does the exact same thing to you, all you can do is look at the screen and go “awwwww” cause they kicked your ass and you know it. It’s not a game like Halo or Call of Duty where if you lose, you end up making a bunch of excuses. “That’s bullsh-” “I shot him first!” “There’s no way he could’ve shot me!” “That’s impossible” “It was lagging!” “This game is garbage!” Seriously? Games like those are filled with the biggest bunch of crybabies and after hearing them whine so many times, I stopped playing multi player shooters.

Believe it or not, but SFIV has been responsible for some pretty awesome get-togethers too. You just can’t beat having your friends come together to eat food and fight each other till the wee hours of the morning. It’s awesome. You can’t forget the arcade scene either. After the interest in arcades began to decline over the past decade, some will argue that SFIV singlehandedly revived the arcade scene a bit. My friends and I are lucky enough to live close to Arcade UFO in Austin, an abandoned laundromat that was transformed into a Japanese head-to-head style arcade. Players from all over Texas come just to compete in tournaments or to just play for fun. Simply put, it’s an awesome place to meet people and kick their asses while doing it. So what if you don’t have an arcade or even friends to play with? Take it online. No matter what online game you play, there’s always trash-talkers and SFIV is no exception. But overall, people who play SFIV online are generally nicer and chances are, you’ll more than likely get a “Good game!” rather than a “You suck!” Don’t believe me? Here’s just a few of the messages I’ve received from playing others online:

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I’ve never really done a review before, but I figure why not start? I feel like bringing out the inner-nerd in me. B)

The only good Black Friday deal I was able to snag was from Newegg.com. The Antec Mini P180 White is a computer case that I’ve been interested in ever sense it first debuted in 2008. Antec is known for their excellent quality computer cases, so I was convinced that this was the best white case I could find on the market today. It would without a doubt be a major upgrade from the ugly Antec case that I noobishly spraypainted white while I was still in high school. The only thing that was really holding me back from getting it at the time was the $149.99 price tag. Newegg.com sold this case for $44.99 ($74.99 before rebate) on Black Friday, which was a steal. I knew I couldn’t miss this opportunity, I immediately ordered one of these babies.

The case came in a few days later. It looks beautiful inside and out. The exterior consists of flexible-but-sturdy plastic and polished silver metal that will actually shine white depending on the lighting and the angle you look at it. The interior is different than your traditional chassis design, but still good, even innovative you might say. It features a bottom-mounted power supply slot, two slide-out hard drive bays that hold a total of five hard drives, and three ‘5.25 (CD drive) bays, one on top and two on the bottom. This case was clearly designed to be silent while maintaining good air flow. The power supply slot and drive bays are padded with silicone grommets to absorb sound and vibration. While there is a rear 120mm fan, there is also a large 200mm fan mounted to the ceiling. Both fans run very smooth and quiet and there’s switches on the back of the case that allow you to change the speed fans without opening the case. The ceiling fan is a major plus. Heat naturally rises, so dissipating it out from the top makes perfect sense. There are also three air filters attached to the front and bottom of the case that reduces the amount of dust coming into the case. Instead of opening the case and cleaning it out, all you have to do is take out the filters and clean them, granted that they work like they’re supposed to. We’ll just have to wait and see to find out. (continue reading…)